LDR

When i was young i thought i'll never be in a long distance relationship (LDR). I thought things are going to go like all those lovey-dovey love birds did. like we went to the same college or university, we graduate together, we get married.

But this is life, it leads me to meet Jason, leads me to fall for him, leads me to Singapore, and leads Jason to penang. So we ended up being in a long distance relationship after 6 months of being together. Regretted? Yea, a little, when i was down. But like Jason said, LDR has bring us more good than harm. For instance, our love become so much stronger. Yea, no joke. It has.

A lot of people asked me about how is it having an LDR. Well what can i say? Being in an LDR sure is hard at first. you'll miss him every second, you'll think about the times you spend together, you'll keep on thinking "Oh how nice it will be if he is here right now with me." A lot of IF statements will come out. Naturally, it will, because thinking an if statement is like having a free antidote for the feeling of missing someone. The effect wont be lasting, you can only feel a temporary effect of relieving the agony of missing your loved ones. That's why, you need frequent dose. I remembered when I first came to Singapore, i kept on thinking about those IF statements.

If he is here now, he'll be holding my hands and we'll talk and joke the way through.
If I'm not here in Singapore, I'll be in Penang with him, maybe having lunch together.
If we started earlier, not as late as 17, maybe things will be different, maybe I wont even be here.

And the list goes on and on. Almost from the moment i opened my eyes, to the moment I went to bed. And he is constantly in my mind. I don't know if he feels this way, but I'm certain that he missed me too. It's harder for the one who is further from home. I suffer homesick, lovesick, academic stress and cultural shock all together at the same time. Amazing how i survived till now. Should give myself a good treat for that.

And after the first or first two months *for me, first month only*, a lot of things follows. I realize life has to go on and just continue with whatever shit life throws at me. It's super hard at first, but later on i've learn to deal with the stress better. That's how people grow huh.

basically, after 7 months of LDR, what i can tell is, LDR need a lot of trust.. really. believe me. Even before we start having an LDR, i remembered having a heart to heart talk with him, and told him that i certainly will not fall for other. the reason is simply because no matter how great they are, they still cant beat Jason and nothing's gonna change that. I wont tell word by word what i said tho, hehe let's keep this a secret. :) I trust him as well. Yea he changed a lot since he go to college but nevertheless, he is still the Jason i fall in with. And i hold on to that.

Then it comes communication. we almost webcam everyday, we talk everyday, its not to know what he is doing, but to know how he is feeling. To know that he needs my support at times and to give my support at the appropriate time. I just told him just now, that i love good talks with him. ANd how it gets to the most basic component of a relationship, which is love. And that being together with him is everything i want, regardless where it is. Be it a trip to Langkawi, Genting, or just a movie, or even buying a DVD and watch it together with him at home. It doenst really matter, honey.

And trying to keep the conversation light and joyful. I think that's important. I'm still learning on this. Cause sometimes i cant help to just express my negative emotions to him. But i believe it's gotten better now. At least he didnt ignore me. I'll really feel bad and guilty after the emotions settled down, and i'm calm again after i become so PMSy and bitchy to him. And what's the best way to make yourself calm down when you wanna avoid both the guilt and the fight? Change topic! Simple. Like talking about the christmas party and stuffs.

I still have to bear with the LDR for 5 and a half year. But i know we're doing great. It might be hard at time, but honey, i'll always be here.

I'm not really a good girlfriend. I'm learning, to know myself more, and to know how to be together with you more. We'll make things out honey. We'll have a happily ever after. I promise. Because having you is one of the luckiest thing that happened to me. And I'll stick to you for the rest of my life.

p/s: I love you.