Suey or what?

It's the first hour and 12th minutes of my 20th birthday.
And I'm crying my eyes out trying to figure out what I can do.

Plus all those shits that I got a few days back, I'm exhausted.
Should try to sleep, but im so lethargic.

Two birthdays in a row, I spent my first few hours of bday crying and feeling the same helplessness.
Again.

What is wrong?
Why is it when I want things to work, it'll go the total opposite direction?