Im 18

Yesterday I got a very major PMS, which is seriously major type of major.

It's not just pure emotional problem, i had this feeling for a long time, it's just keep hidden.

I grow up in a small town, im 18, im not in anything like debate or public speaking. ok i make quite a lot of friends but hey, im really not a social person. Coming from a small town to a big city, with people rushing for everything, i just miss home. Miss skipping school for almost no reason, miss the times when i can just relax and kick back, play some piano, studying and enjoying the breeze on the balcony at night, going for tuitions and crack jokes..

I might seemed that I've assimilate well in this society, but let's face it, i really miss home. I've never been away from home for so long alone, this is my first time, i'll get homesick every now and then. I just miss home. Who doesn't? I swear to God every student studying outstation, Penang, KL, Ipoh, wherever else, they sure feel it. The feeling of wanting to go home. It's SP *NOT SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC!*

Yesterday night i dreamed of my old high school. Guys remember the school field which we love so much cause of the grass and hate so much cause they make us run three or four rounds and that kills us? Yea, i dreamed of that. Back in form 4 *sec 4 for my fellow Sg friends*, I used to go to Syed Jan practice sessions once simply because its on thursday, and Amy is going.

We went to Add maths tuition together back in form 4. Karmen and dearest Jason are in Syed Jan too. And that day after the practice, four of us literally lie down on the field and look up into the sky, cracking some jokes. That was awesome. I miss those times. That time when i looked up, i knew it clearly that i wont have another chance to do that again. I enjoyed the feeling of the grass poking my ears. I love it.

Back then i thought im going to have a nice time studying in tertiary education level. I have no idea it's going to be this hard. Academic wise, its ok. Just the part of living alone sometimes makes me lonely. So, sorry guys, I just have to go home on christmas. Its Christmas. It should be at home.

I thought im going to carry this emotion for a long time yesterday night. But this morning, I'm already rushing to library to meet tomato and study.

Well that's life. Life's a bitch, whatever life gives, just fuck it and move on. Thanks honey, for teaching me this.